A stolen post...

This post is taken from the the RefineUs Ministries (http://refineus.org). It is a great ministry for marriage and I am learn so much from them. This post on their blog spoke volumes to me because right now I feel broken....

Today’s guest post is from Justin Davis, the campus and teaching Pastor at Cross Point Community Church – Bellevue Campus, based in Nashville, TN. He, and his wife Trisha, have been through an enormous journey that is laden with God’s healing and redemptive grace. Today, I’m honored to have him share his story and voice with you all. You can connect with Justin on Twitter and Facebook, and find him and Trisha blogging together at RefineUs.org.

Is it possible to live most of your life as a Christian and get it wrong? It was for me. For years, I said that I believed things about God, but lived my life as if I didn’t.

I believed that God was in control, yet I acted like I was.

I believed that God had the authority to guide my decisions, finances, marriage, and relationships…but so often in my life, I chose my way. Spent my money, controlled my marriage, and built my relationships.

Here’s what’s whack…when things didn’t go the way that I thought they should go, I’d just work harder, try harder, expend more energy, and do better at living exactly how I was living.

I think we’re totally good to trust in Jesus for our eternity, we just don’t want to hear from Him till until we get there. We know He has the power to save us, we just don’t really believe He’s better at leading our lives as we are. This way of living destroyed my life, marriage, and ministry and almost cost me my relationship with God.

There’s a better way…it’s called brokenness. Brokenness is an act of surrender…it’s giving up rather than just trying harder. Brokenness is a decision, laying everything on the line and then submitting…realizing that your life is where it is now because of your leadership, decisions, strength, and self sufficiency…and God is your only hope.

I had to hit rock bottom; having an affair and almost losing my marriage before I allowed myself to experience brokenness. You don’t have to travel that path. You can choose brokenness. The Bible says that a broken and contrite heart, God will not deny. He longs to see us desire brokenness, for this is where His strength is made perfect.

What are the benefits of brokenness?

• You lose your need to control. When Trisha and I separated, I lost my ability to manipulate. She wasn’t going to be manipulated by me anymore. I couldn’t control how she spent money, or what she bought at the grocery store. Also, I couldn’t manipulate and control what other people thought of me. When we have a faulty trust in God, we don’t think He can control our lives as well as we can…so we manipulate. When you choose brokenness and surrender, you trust that God is in control and you submit to what He desires and chooses. There’s freedom in living knowing He’s in control.

• You lose your need to impress. When you choose brokenness, you lose your need to impress others. You begin to live out of an identity that isn’t based on others’ opinions, validations or acceptance. I remember being so exhausted worrying about what everyone thought of clothes I wore, decisions I made, messages I gave. I wanted people to be impressed with the quality of my marriage and how great my kids looked and acted. It’s not that those things aren’t important…they just shouldn’t drive you. When you live only trying to impress God, you discover a confidence and freedom that you’ve tried to provide for yourself.

• You lose your desire to pretend. When you embrace brokenness, you stop pretending. You stop pretending you’ve got it all together; got all the answers; have the perfect marriage and overcome all the sins. You lose your desire to pretend to be a better friend; husband; parent than you really are…and you desire to be more of who God calls you to be. You actually want to wake up and be the person you’ve been pretending to be; realizing that brokenness is the only way to get there. Leave room for the crushing.

• You lose your need to hide. Our natural desire as humans is to hide. What did Adam and Eve do right after they sinned? They hid. We’ve been hiding ever since. One of the best feelings I’ve had since I embraced brokenness is the freedom that comes from not hiding. You can look at my computer browser, bank account, DirectTV statement, you can even search my movie rental history at Blockbuster…I have NOTHING to hide. Having spent so many years fearing being FOUND OUT, not hiding is a life that I wouldn’t trade for ANYTHING. Leave room for the crushing…as you embrace it and find brokenness, your need to hide fades away; and all you’re left with is FREEDOM.

Maybe the issues you have in your marriage, with a friend, or someone at work is more about you than it is about them. Maybe what you need to do most today is surrender, to give up. You’re exhausted from trying harder, and there’s a better way. It’s a way that’s more painful, vulnerable, and transparent. But it’s the way of Jesus; and when you choose to go His way, you find what only He can give.