Attitude, Prayer and Reconcillation

Today I have not be a good wife.  Proverbs 31 is as far from the attitude I have had today then it EVER needs to be.  But there is a way to stop and start over.  I need to remember that God, and my husband, are my authority and I should respect them as such..

My husband and I have been married for 23years. We have learned many lessons on our journey together and I have no doubt that we have many lessons to be learned. One vital lesson that I encounter everyday is that my attitude greatly affects my marriage.

My attitude, the condition of my heart, leads the way in which I respond to my husband. So if I have a negative attitude, my responses towards my husband will be negative. For example, the other day I woke up from a bad dream about my husband. My dreams seem incredibly real, as do the emotions aroused in them. I allowed my dream to dictate my attitude. I was upset, frustrated, and irritated. This perspective spiraled downward and I didn’t think to stop and pray about it. Instead it affected my morning and my marriage. Thoughts swirled inside my head and I began to dwell on being discontent. My attitude was negative, and during that morning I unfortunately allowed it to take over. When my husband asked me a question, I snapped at him coldly. When my husband tried helping me, I got angry because he was not doing it how I would. My words were unkind and my mind was focused on me!

This is not the way God desires me to behave. I was feeding a horrible attitude and it was destroying my relationship with my husband. Recognizing that I needed to change, I started with prayer!

“Lord, please change my attitude, change my heart. I am so sorry for letting things get to me. I am sorry for not reflecting your love. I am sorry for how I treated my husband. Help me to be joyful, glad, kind, compassionate, patient, and loving in Jesus name AMEN!”

The next important step is reconciliation with my husband. I apologized for how I treated him. Reconciliation in marriage is an awesome experience, mirroring God’s great love and grace.

With a new attitude and a change of heart I was ready to transform my marriage. Instead of focusing on myself, I sought to focus on my husband and his needs. This is how Christ would have operated! When my attitude reflects Christ, extraordinary things happen. When I operate out of God’s love, my marriage is better.

Be aware of how your attitude affects your marriage. The amazing truth is that with change we can experience transformation! It is worth it to our marriage for us to check and double check our attitude daily!

Do you recognize how your attitude affects your marriage?

A few things I've learned....

A year ago my world was ROCKED!!!  I want go into the details of what happened today but I will the say I learned some things that have made my life and my world a much better place.

 

Here are a few things I learned in the past year.

 

Keep God FIRST!!!  There is nothing in your life that needs to be done that is more important than putting God FIRST!!!  Working out is great, being a successful businessperson is great, being a great community volunteer is wonderful, even serving in leadership in church is great but it is NOTHING if you aren't putting God FIRST!!!
 

Words are strong. Speaking positive even when I don't want to is the only option I have. Even when people royally tick me off, I am obligated to speak positively to them and about them. 

 

 Praying daily is essential for spiritual momentum. Staying connected with God on a daily basis needs to be a top priority.
 

Don't let your family go without you. Your spouse needs you, your kids need you, your parents need you.  All those other things you think are so important don't need you near as much as these people do.

 

People can change and often times looking at the changes you need to make will take you on the first step to change your life and the world.

There is so much more that I could write on what I have learned this year, but it would take hours to read, so I hope this little burst encourages someone out there in internet land.

Living a Big Life

I wanted to share this blog post with you.  It has really hit home due to events in the last several weeks in my life.  I am blessed to have two living grandmothers but I realize every day my time with them gets shorter and shorter.  One grandmother as cancer and there is little to do but keep her pain-free and enjoy the time we have left with her.  Tomorrow we will celebrate my other grandmother's 89th birthday.  Sharp as a tack and very healthy for her age I know that just because of age time gets shorter.  I want to drink them in, to sit and study every wrinkle in their face and record their voice to my memory bank for the day I don't have them.  This blog post by Sheila at To Love, Honor and Vacuum reminded of the "Big Lives" they have lived and the inspiration that I want to live my life big too.


Sheila's Reality Check
Living a Big Life

June 7, 2013

 

There is a point in time, often in a doctor's office, when life suddenly grows smaller. You realize that you can't do many of the things that you loved and took for granted. Your body is growing older, and the life stretched out before you, which was once filled with possibilities, now seems far more plagued with problems.

Yet this point in time is coming far later today. Part of this is due to medical breakthroughs; yet I think expectations have also played a part. My grandmother was once asked to leave school so that she could care for "a woman of a certain age" as she went through "the change". Decline was expected to come at fifty, and people seemed to relish the chance to add some drama to the process. Now we push it off as long as possible, and some of us even seem to avoid decline altogether.

This week I threw a seventieth surprise birthday party for my mother. The fact that she was actually surprised, and didn't put two and two together until she was physically inside the banquet centre (and not just driving into to the banquet centre) is perhaps evidence that she is not as sharp as she once was. Since I pulled off something similar twenty years ago, though, I'm not sure you can attribute this to age.

Nevertheless, one of the thrilling aspects of planning the party was tracking down everyone to invite. My mother has a multitude of friends, and they are all very different. Some are young, like 16-year-old Liam who accompanied her on a missions trip to Kenya last summer; and some are much older, like the university friends she still keeps in contact with. Some she worked with; some she knits with; some she worships with. So many of the party-goers were close friends of hers, and yet they didn't know each other because she floats through so many different circles. Her world is big.

It wasn't always. In the early seventies, after a difficult marriage breakup, her world looked small. It was reduced to figuring out how to support a young child and keep going, day by day. In the eighties, cancer struck. And yet my mother began to see each day as a new possibility, and each person she met as a gift. When she finally retired a year or so ago, she did so because her volunteer work was taking up too much time, and she really needed more room for it. She didn't relax; she simply went bigger. And it brought much joy.

Thinking of this reminds me of another woman I know, now in her mid-seventies, who had to quit teaching at 65. She was rather perturbed about it, because she loved teaching. When swimming at the YMCA one day, she was offered a job. So she trained for her lifeguarding qualifications, and began teaching swimming.

Bev taught my own girls when they were small; today they teach side by side with her. A few months ago when Bev recertified, she passed the timed swim again. Bev's life didn't get smaller; it got bigger, too.

Retirement was once thought of as a chance to give back to yourself. You could relax, and take things easy, and revel in one's accomplishments. For many, that seems too small a dream. We search for significance, and joy, and purpose, and that does not have to end when one comes to the end of one's career. On the contrary, for many it's just the beginning.

Yes, one day our bodies will betray us. But until that day comes, I pray that I may live a big life. I pray that I may see each day as a new opportunity; each person as a potential friend; and each moment as a source of joy.

How God Works in My Marriage

God Rules
God has been in control from day one, through all our mess-ups, all our stupid mistakes, all our trying to be perfect. He never didn't have complete control.

We Sinned
We both messed up pretty bad, I didn't have a clue how to respect him, how to be a wife and not a competitor. I really had no idea what it meant to be a wife.

God Provided
During our lowest moments, when fear threatened us, when there was no hope, when everything looked impossible, God was there and He provided for every need I had. He showed me I didn't have to be afraid no matter what happened in my future. Being fearless gave me the strength I needed to continue, to have hope and to stay married.

Jesus Gives
Daily Jesus gives to me, I hold my hands open to Him, pay attention and He fills me.  Jesus gives so much to me every single day, when I grow weak and can't see Him, I escape and run to Him and soak Him in through music, through His words, through silence and He always fills me with His grace and His love. Over and over again, He does this for me.

We Respond
Because Christ fills me with His love, I am able to speak and give grace to my husband and to those around me. Because I have everything, I see the pain in others and can fill their needs, I can give them grace, I can tell them they are enough, they are loved and respected. I can make myself low, only because Christ has raised me so high. I don't need to fear being taken advantage of, because I don't need anything from them because I have all I need in Christ. I can drop all expectations from other people because I know what it's like to feel like you're not enough. I can love others because Christ first loved me.

Grace

To many Martha Stewart is the poster person for grace.  When I see her I think of the women I have known that I think as full of grace. I am fascinated by GRACE.  There are many definitions of the word.  Webster dictionary defines Grace as a noun, meaning a charming or attractive trait or characteristic.  In Christian theology, grace has been defined as "the love and mercy given to us by God because God desires us to have it, not because of anything we have done to earn it".  I think both are true meanings and really walk hand and hand.  I want grace, I want to show grace and also I am so thankful for the grace God has given me. Technically Grace is a noun but Grace is also active. And because it is, you and I are able to live productive lives which have eternal significance. Often we think of grace as merely doctrine that explains our salvation, something which occurred in the past. But grace is power in action. Oh, if we could only get this truth into our heads and then into our daily lives, what passion it would bring to our service to Him and for Him and how much more charming or attractive we would be in to others.

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Daily Reflection: How can you passionately serve the Lord in your life today?

You Can Dream

 I love hearing a young child telling me what they want to be when they grow-up.  The unlimited possibilities they see in their future are amazing.  Right now I am enjoying, with a tinge of motherly sadness, my youngest child dream and make plans for college and her future.  Life is wonderful when you can dream, and believe in those dreams, for the future.  However as we grow older we don't always do that.  Sometimes we forget to dream. One of the greatest losses to come from worry and stress is the way it can strip our hearts of the ability to imagine anything better around the corner... Perhaps you’ve stepped away from wondering what you want to do, see, become. Can I just encourage you? As long as you have breath, you can dream. It doesn’t matter how old you are, what you’ve walked through, what might be going on right now. Dreaming of the future can bring new life to the present.

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Daily Reflection: Do you have a dream that’s recently fizzled due to worry and stress?

Orthodoxy with Love

I have been thinking alot about what I BELIEVE and have been taught over the years (Orthodoxy) and then LOVE (Humility).  They seem to conflict at times but I know this God loved those that many people today judge.  It sickens me that Christians cannot get past their beliefs to quit judging.  Last I checked that was as big a sin as homosexuality, theft, abortion, murder, etc.  But judgement is a harmless sin...so those aren't as bad right?  WRONG!!!!  

God has given us TWO messages (well he gave us many but today I'm thinking on two)

God has given the saving message of the gospel to his people through his Word, and we must be willing to fight for its integrity and faithful transmission. We are to “contend for
the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints” ( Jude 3). In other words, we need to care about orthodoxy and right thinking about who God is and how he saves through Jesus Christ. 

But at the same time, God’s Word commands us, “Love your neighbor as yourself ” (Matthew 22:39). Jesus even told us, “Love your enemies” (Matthew 5:44). And 1 Peter 5:5 says, “Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’ ” In other words, genuine love and humility of heart before God and other people are essential.  

  

  We don’t get to choose between humility and orthodoxy. We need both.

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Daily Reflection: How can you make a point to remember humility and compassion when discussing orthodoxy?